A good conversation is like a jam session in jazz, where one starts with conventional elements and then introduces spontaneous variations that create an exciting new composition. The secret of starting a good conversation is to find out what the other person's goals are: What is he interested in at the moment? What is she involved in? What has he or she accomplished, or is trying to accomplish? If any of this sounds worth pursuing, the next step is to utilize one's own experience or expertise on the topics raised by the other person-without trying to take over the conversation, but developing it jointly. The same holds true for any other type of interaction. For example, to experience the simple pleasures of parenting, one has to pay attention, to know what the child is "proud of" or "into" then to share those activities with her. When these conditions are met, it is possible to experience the flow that comes from optimal interaction. When approached without too many cultural prejudices and with a determination to make it personally meaningful, even the most mundane job can produce flow.Ī successful interaction involves finding some compatibility between our goals and those of the other person or persons, and becoming willing to invest attention in the other person's goals.
Turning a dull jot into one that satisfies our need for novelty and achievement involves paying close attention to each step involved, and then asking: Is this step necessary? Can it be done better, faster, more efficiently? What additional steps could make my contribution more valuable? If, instead of spending a lot of effort trying to cut corners, one spent the same amount of attention trying to find ways to accomplish more on the job, one would enjoy working-more and probably be more successful. A supermarket clerk who pays genuine attention to customers, a physician concerned about the total well-being of patients, or a news reporter who considers truth at least as important as sensational interest when writing a story, can transform a routine job into one that makes a difference. Short of making such a dramatic switch, there are many ways to make one's job produce flow.
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